Heya lovelies post 24 is up

Hey!! How has everyone been? Hopefully good. This is eons late butttttt HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!! how was your holiday? Did you dress up? Did you receive candy? Or do you do something entirely different for Halloween? Today there  isn’t much going on just some tests and Homework though I probably should start my report on GMO’s soon that won’t be fun but the topic is interesting. Are there any other science enthusiast that read my posts? If so have you ever written a lab report and if so on what? I have got to go soon for class but have a good day <3.

Daily Advice: Enjoy what life has to offer in the now because you have all the time in the world to grow up. 

p.s. sorry I don’t have a picture today I am not using my computer but a school computer.

-Ana

Advertisements

Post 23 is up!

Hey everyone, whats up? How are you? If you were wondering our bacteria didn’t turn green sadly but it was still cool to see the outcome. My family is getting a new puppy soon. He is extra tiny only the size of your palm at best so that’s pretty exciting. Let’s see if I have any interesting stories for today. Well yesterday I pushed a wheelchair around for two hours straight. Tat was tiring but the lady seemed really happy for the ride so that was a plus. I also found out about this really cool study abroad session my school is holding. Maybe I’ll be able to cross traveling to Ireland off my bucket list that would be amazing. The only down side is I am not sure how it will work out if I get this job offer at the nursing home as an activities assistant. I’ll keep you guys posted though if you want to know what happens with that. Oh yeah! Did I ever tell you guys me and my boyfriend broke up. We are still friends though which is really nice. Sometimes the reality is you have to do what is best for you and not what is best for everyone else don’t forget that. I hope you all have a great day I have some more work I need to do.

Daily (should I always do this? No I am not certified or qualified to give advice I just like to help make people happy because I have been on the other end trying to make everyone else happy and not myself.) Advice: Do the things that make you happy because you can’t truly make everyone else happy until you yourself can be happy. If not you will feel so drained and trapped trying to make the world feel your happiness when you yourself can’t. 

-Ana

20181019_092255

 

 

Post number 22

Hey lovelies how are you doing? Hopefully your doing good. Did you do anything cool this weekend? I know I have been posting inconsistently but i’ll try to type more consistently from now on at least when I can.  Tomorrow we will be looking at our bacteria in lab that’s pretty cool. Also on a sadder note I broke up with my boyfriend today and I really am not sure if it makes me happy we can still be friends or hurt more knowing I broke up with him but he is still so understanding. I hope he has the happiest life and I hope we truly can keep being friends because he was an amazing person and even though he wont read this I am sorry I hurt you that was never what I intended to do. But I suppose that is life and from here you just have to move on and do what you believe to be right. With all of that I will message you again maybe not tomorrow because I have a test but Wednesday for sure lovelies. Have a fang-tastic night.

-Ana

20180120_152315

Post number 21 lovelies <3

What’s up buttercups? I haven’t done much, I was off school because of the hurricane Michael but we came back today. Did any of you guys also get hit by the hurricane? If so I hope your all safe and sound. Well since I don’t have much exciting to say please enjoy a poem.

fog rolls in from the ocean
quickly engulfing your thoughts
invading your vision
and ensnaring your emotions
your lungs strain for something
all you can hear is the throbbing
your reflexes slow
your feet feel glued to the spot
your lost in the fog

-Ana

20170904_100720.jpg

POST NUMBER 20 IS UP!!!!

Hey guys!!! I’m back sorry it took so long I have been stressed to the max with homework and midterms all last week. But I’m back and better than ever! How are you all? What have you been up to? How was your week? I haven’t got much to tell you all really since I haven’t done anything interesting unless you call typing away on a computer trying to do work interesting. It’s pouring where i live you can’t even see through the window but it’s calming the thudding sound of rain as it hits the roof of the school building i’m in. Well that’s all I have to say really I will be back on later today or tomorrow. OH! here’s something fun I am currently working on incubating glowing bacterial cells in my science lab since my group implanted a gene from a jellyfish into them. Hopefully it works if it dies i’ll for sure show you all. Now it really is talk to you later bye bye.

P.s this is lilliana or Lilly for short sorry it’s late

-Ana

20180927_084551

Here’s post number nineteen<3

Hey guys! How are you? Sorry i haven’t been on all weekend i had some test studying to do and more work like watching a documentary. What about you? What was your weekend like? How is your Monday going? I think it is a pretty good day finally we got a decently warm day and not a day that’s a trillion degrees (okay like 90 degrees but still). Well fill me in on what you think?I have to go bye lovelies.

Don’t forget to believe in yourselves

-Ana

20171216_155633

post number eighteen: something I have always needed to say

Firstly I would just like to say you aren’t obligated to read this. It’s something I have just always needed to get off my chest and today is one of those days I have a lot on my mind. So i would just like to apologize because this is a rant that doesn’t pertain to anyone here. Sorry lovelies I hope you have an amazing rest of your day maybe i’ll be back on later.

          Please stop asking if I’m alright. please stop assuming that because my life is going great right no I am happy. Stop saying I have nothing to complain about even though your right i probably don’t. But most of all stop assuming that it’s so easy to move on from pain because it’s not. Stop telling me I should talk to my dad more often and reconnect with him because that will make me feel better it doesn’t it hurts so much SO MUCH just seeing his face or hearing his voice. I have made so much progress from that day when I was 11. I had to walk away from my father at the airport an ocean away knowing I would probably never see him again and if I did it wouldn’t be for so many years. But by then so many days have passed I am not 11 anymore, my feelings, my ideas, my dreams nothing is the same. We are now worlds apart in more than just distance. How many special occasions can a father miss before someone breaks. Do you know how many times I waited up late into the night when I was a kid praying and hoping to get even one call from my father. We were best friends and then suddenly he was gone. But my baby sisters who weren’t even old enough to know who he truly was when he left always got a call on their birthdays or special occasions. It wasn’t until I was older that we started to talk more but how long is to late? How many times does someone have to brave losing someone before they break. I have spent so much of my life moving from city to city, town to town, state to state. When does it stop when do you stop losing people that you thought cared about you. How many times do you have to get broken before you forget to trust. Eight years might sound like a long time but is it really? Should I have already moved on from everything? My dad had to leave when I was 11, My stepdad left when I was 16 almost 17, Keeping friends has been so hard and I value the ones I have so much you could never understand. I went to eight different schools just between elementary school and high school. Now I am 19 and I have already been in two different colleges. All I have ever wanted was to stop and stand still. I am so sick of being the new kid, the odd one out, the girl that has to try and make herself feel like she belongs in someone else’s group of friends because by the time I get there most people already know each other. Every time I start to feel like I belong I get shoved into another direction but I should be used to it right? It shouldn’t hurt? Everyone always says I should just move on but what do you think I have been trying to do these past eight years? I’m an adult now I should take my life into my own hands? I’m Trying! But I am so broken and every single time it gets better it always gets worse the pain of leaving people makes me numb and makes it hard for me to have the desire to talk to anyone because what are they going to do leave too? But I am trying to make friends, t get a job, to get an apartment, to reach my dream. So stop telling me oh you should be fine, or oh I’m so sorry, or just try and talk to them. Don’t you think I have? Do you know how many silent tears i have cried alone in the dark. How it gets so hard to breathe that you lose the ability to function. Do you not realize that I have two younger sisters and a mother that I need to be strong for? They are the only people that I know I will always have without a doubt and yes I have a good six friends that I will never be without but I have to be strong for my family. I have spent eight years struggling with my own emotions so that they can be alright because if they’re happy I know I will be someday. They are the most important things in my life. So stop telling me that I should just focus on myself because I will when I move out when I get my own life but right now well I am still doing that I have to keep pretending to be strong so that they can rely on me when they are weak. Don’t get me wrong my mom and sisters have seen me cry they know that I am in pain but those feelings will never be more important than the three of them and so I will have bad days, or bad weeks, but I will always pull it back together for them. So stop asking if I am okay I’m probably not and that’s okay because I know I will be someday but someday is not today, or tomorrow, and it was the eight years that have passed. Someday is the day I am truly happy and fighting to make myself happy. So someday isn’t today but someday i’ll be able to say today is the day I really am okay.

-Ana20170512_061523.jpg